The Great Perhaps....

Coming to you live from Kuwait son!!!

I don't really know why I wanted to say that but anyways moving forward... As you can clearly see I titled this blog post "The Great Perhaps". I don't remember who originally said it but I'm deriving it from a really good book I read recently titled "Looking for Alaska". If you haven't read this book yet, I highly recommend it.The reason I picked that title is that in this stage of my life I am still in pursuit of it. What does it mean for me, and where can I find it? If you have been keeping up with this blog and it's history you will find that not only the title, but the actually story of said book, is delightfully ironic and super convenient to what it is I'm about to write.  If you haven't been keeping up, and to make a long story short. It's the classic tale of boy meets dead end. Needs to find a way out. Joins the military for sense of direction. At this point of the story the reader can be proud of the protagonist, but is that the end? The protagonist did what he wanted to do without losing himself, and with no post traumatic stress to speak of. Has a steady job, makes decent money, and gets to travel. A kid from Florida getting to live in Alaska is a tremendous experience, but is that it? A conversation I had with a really good friend keeps coming to mind...

 We had both taken a test that discerned our unique personality traits, as we discussed the results and talked about what elements were true or false, it was very apparent that this test was extremely accurate. It told us a lot of stuff that we already knew, and a few things we had yet to learn about ourselves. The most interesting thing about the test is that it told us what our most basic desire was. For him it was that as long as he stayed happy it didn't matter what happened. That he was okay with the conventional America dream idea. To one day find the right girl and get married. Have a good job that he enjoys, buying a house, and eventually settling down and have kids. Just being happy and comfortable would be a good life. But I on the other hand was a bit different. All the things mentioned related to his happiness are all things that do apply to me but the only difference is I will always want to build on that. That my happiness is to achieve and then achieve on top of that. So in my eyes his view of life made it seem as if he had a low ceiling. Ceiling referring to the amount of space you have left to grow. If you know this particular friend then you know that a comment like that would spark a bit of a heated discussion between us. What I'll never forget about that conversation is what he declared at the end. "What makes me happy is what normal people want, I have a normal ceiling. Jeni has a high ceiling, Brian you have no ceiling". 

No ceilings. I like that shit. Regardless of where I am in life, there is always room for improvement. The conventional lifestyle isn't anything bad at all. I too want the wife, excellent job, big house, and kids. For me there is always something else to work towards, it's in my personality. Its funny thinking back to a younger version of myself dreaming of one day becoming a president. It's ludicrous thinking back that far because to me that thought is now foreign. If I could have a conversation with my 13 year old self I'd imagine it would go like this...

 I can see the shine of a full moon still lit in his eyes. The roundness of his face, the thin narrow shoulders that holds a frame no bigger than a hundred pounds. The squeaky voice that is still unaffected by puberty.  He doesn't stand any taller than five feet so he has to look up to me when he says... "Did your balls drop off somewhere? How could you let my dreams die?" It would sting. But the simple answer to his question would be life. Life happened. I guess you can chalk it up to his ignorance but my former self was fearless. Sure, he was still figuring a lot of different things out but he wasn't afraid to declare that his dream was to become a lawyer, to become a president. So what happened? Why did his boldness become my reluctance? The only thing that I can think of is , I am afraid. Afraid of failure. Afraid that I wasn't good enough to make it. Nature's first green is gold. When you are not affected by the trials and tribulations of life, you are untouchable. Everyone has their dreams and aspirations, the only difference is that once you write them down, they become a goal. One step closer to achieving what that dream might be.

In the book "Looking for Alaska" the main character, Miles, is in search of his "Great Perhaps". He is still in high school and he feels that his life up until that point has been irrelevant, and he yearns for something more. Miles decides that he wants to leave home to attend a boarding school in hopes of finding his "Great Perhaps". I, like Miles, felt that I could  possibly travel the world, or maybe if I could experience a plethora of new things. That I could find my "Great Perhaps". But I've come to realize that it's none of those things. My "Great Perhaps" has always been inside of me. I have to find that 13 year old Brian. The Brian that didn't look for excuses but the one who saw an obstacle to overcome. He might not always make the right decisions but wasn't afraid to get messy. To make mistakes but learn from them. To understand that you can't always get it right the first time. And that it is you and only you,who can stop you from attempting a second time. I desperately need to find him, he won't have all the answers I seek. Just to tap into his boldness. Turn his dreams into my goals. He was untouchable. He was immune to danger. Like two little lion cubs before him...

"Danger??? HA! I laugh in the face of danger."

Take life one adventure at a time, and ALWAYS remember that it is a work in progress.

Peace and Happiness to all :)

Humbly yours,

Brian J

Chick-fil-A said WHAT...

 Hello and what's good friends?

So you might have guessed that this post is related to the subject of gay marriage and that whole Chick-fil-A uproar that was in the news recently. I really try and stay away from these matters but I have a blog, I should use it for something right? Its my understanding that the CEO or one of the top hats of the company was asked what his position on gay marriage was. He responded with something along the lines of "I support traditional marriage". If you have been following the story then you know about the negative backlash he and his company have received. Honestly I don't get it at all, people must have forgotten that we live in America. That statement was his own personal belief that has nothing to do with the business side of Chick-fil-A, I guess freedom of speech doesn't exist anymore. There is something I want to point out...

When we were kids, at least when I was, when you thought of people getting married you usually thought of a man and women getting married. But more importantly where was the location? You always imagined that it was being held in the church. I mean nowadays people can get married anywhere, on the beach in Hawaii, on a fancy golf resort, or some even have it at their own home. But people seem to forget that marriage was something that started in the church, that getting married was something institutionalized in the church. Where did the church come from? The Bible. If you know anything about the bible then you know that it doesn't mesh well with gay people. They are like water and oil, they just don't mix. We all have a understanding of who Adam and Eve was. God didn't create Adam, then create Eve and Steve. Adam wasn't given an option on who he wanted to be with. I believe in what the bible says, so by default I support traditional marriage but...

I am a very tolerant person, I have zero problems with gay people. I feel that whoever it is that you are sexually attracted to is your business. I can never judge you, because we all are people. By no means do I sit above anyone else, I will never be in a position to judge anyone for what it is that they want. So lets say that gay marriage gets legalized in all 50 states, I wouldn't riot in the streets or even really care. At that point it is your choice and no one will be able to take that away from you. At that junction in time, me believing that its wrong will just be my opinion. If I found out that one of my closest friends in the world was gay and he wanted me to be the best man at his wedding, I say lets do it. To me he will always be my friend before I would think that he was gay. But what really grinds my gears...

The fact that people would stop eating there because someone has their own personal opinion. There is a fine line between annoyed and upset. What really irked me is that I saw a picture on Facebook that  people who supported Chick-fil-A where in the same boat as the guys who founded the KKK... like really? That is completely off base and super distasteful. It would be a different story if this company denied gay people service or didn't give them jobs based on their sexual orientation. If that was the case, then of course they would be wrong. But to connect that or even suggest there is a correlation is down right... for lack of a better word.. retarded. I understand that we as humans can get really sensitive to things we don't agree with but at the same time why cast a negative shadow on something mundane as that? Don't get so twisted out of shape over a personal opinion, we do live in America right? Last time I checked, Chick-fil-A didn't come up with our national policy on gay marriage. Trust me, your fight against them and their mouth watering sandwiches will be in vain.

On a lighter note it would be funny if he used that comment as a marketing device to increase sales. On one hand you got the people who support traditional marriage, you got people who support it also but doesn't really care either way, and then people who down right don't care either way all going to get Chick-fil-A. I'm sure everyone also hear the story of the supporters all going out to get food there, I have first hand knowledge, the store here was packed. Just putting the thought of Chick-fil-A in peoples minds made them want to go get it. Marketing genius, I've had Chick-fil-A about five times since this story broke. Eat Chick-fil-A or don't eat it. I think its fucking delicious, but hey that's just my opinion. Should it or anyone Else's, really effect what you do?

Take life one adventure at a time, and ALWAYS remember that it is a work in progress.

Peace and Happiness to all :)

Humbly yours,

Brian J

Is the grass greener on the other side...

Well damn... Hello.

Its been a very long time since I've done one of these and a lot... a lot.. A LOT of things have happen since I last wrote to you. One post wouldn't even begin to cover what has happen since then, but I'm going to keep it short and sweet. While yes the military is a huge part of my life, it is not the whole thing. I want to knock this one out and dig into other subjects that have been surging through my brain. But before I jump straight back into it I want to give out some shout outs...

First and foremost I would like to thank God, I don't know where I would be without keeping the faith because sometimes that's all a person has. Of course all my family and friends who have supported me throughout all my decisions. But I want to give a special shout out to Tom and Jeni Manton... wow its hard to believe that in my last post you guys were not married yet, but of course congrats you guys did it, you really did it. I can't mention those two without mentioning the little one. Their son, my godson, James Andrew Manton born on June 19th 2012. While the Godfather is a honorable position but hardly ever really that serious, but I know that if anything ever happened to either of them and I had to step up I would be there in a drop of a hat to take care of James. I truly do mean that. So without further ado, let's answer the question shall we? Is the grass greener on the other side?

I say hell yea. Hell yea, hell yea. Fucking right. Damn right, alright.

If I had to stop the post right there I think that should indefinitely answer that question. But one question I do get a lot is, what was basic training like? Which is kind of hard to answer because it is not like anything you've ever experienced before. And honestly there isn't a single thing I could have done to prepare for it. It wasn't anything nice or easy and while you're there you think its the worst thing possible but looking back at it I always smile, because that experience made me stronger and made me the person I am today. I'll attempt to break it down further, the whole idea of basic training is to break you down and mold you into something better. So they try and rid you of all your bad habits and instill discipline. Its almost like going to rehab from yourself, but regardless of anything, no one really can stop you from being you. So yes there is certain things you will look at and never really forget but once you graduate from it, you slowly go back just like any fiend would. No one can really change you. So that definitely was something that will always stay with me and then there was tech school...


If basic training is like jail then tech school would be probation after you got out of jail. So things are not as strict and you get a little bit more freedom because they want you to make a smooth transition back into the real world, but also hang on to the core valves from basic training, I personally loved tech school. My tech school was in California and it was an amazing opportunity, the weather out there is beautiful practically everyday. If it wasn't so expensive there I think I would live there when I decided to get out. Compared to the harsh dry heat of Texas being there was a heavenly change of pace. My tech school was short and sweet, I was only out there for six weeks. Basically at tech school you learn how to do your job. My job in a nutshell? I help manage a fleet of vehicles but where am I now...

Operational Air Force is what they call it. You further learn how to do your job on a real day to day basis but now you get all the free time you need. For me my job is like any other 9 to 5, I go to work and I come home, I also have weekends off. For a lot people in the military that is exactly what it is like. The only real difference is that with being a military citizen there are more rules that they hold you accountable for. Operational is night and day compared to basic training, and just for the record no I don't get yelled at any more. People really seem to think that everything about the military lifestyle is about getting yelled at, that is just in basic training.

In one of my earlier posts I went off on how I was getting out of Florida and really making a way for myself in a different environment but where did I get stationed?  Moody Air Force Base, Georgia only 30 minutes away from the border of Florida... The irony right? I remember when I first told Tom, he laughed at me. But when you really want something you have to work at it. I've only been on this base for under a year and now I'm already packing my bags for the final frontier, Alaska! In only two short weeks they are moving this Florida boy to Alaska! Imagine that I've never seen snow before in my life and honestly I don't even know what to expect but I'm really pumped up about it. Honestly my decision to join the Air Force is the best thing to happen to me. I'm getting back into school and taking college classes and my money stays looking right. Imagine that, how many 21 year old kids do you know who already has retirement fund going and is investing money? I have no regrets. Huuuuuaaaaaaaaa!

Take life one adventure at a time, and ALWAYS remember that it is a work in progress.

Peace and Happiness to all :)

Humbly yours,

Airmen 1st Class Brian J

Until next time...

Hello Friends!

Today is the day, I am finally making my departure from Naples. Its a weird feeling, I don't exactly know how I feel at the moment but as write this now I'm going to miss everyone so much. This is big step in my life. But I will be back that for sure is for certain.

This is not goodbye. I will see you later.

Peace and happiness to all :)

Humbly yours,

Brian J

True love...

Hey there!

So as I promised in my very last post, I am going to try and take a swing at what true love is or what it might be like. So for you readers that are in love or have experienced it before please feel free to comment. I would really like to hear everyone's opinion.

When I think of love, the first thing that comes to mind is of course the physical aspect. The burning lust of desire that resides in all of us, the same emotion that in most cases are what actually spark up relationships. I do believe it is important on the road that leads to love but I think it is safe to say that you the reader understands that. Regardless of your sexual orientation when you encounter someone you like that lust is there.

I have had time to think about this and one song that jumps out to me is Paper Planes by M.I.A. and if you have heard this song before then you should be thinking what the fuck am I talking about? But that song always brings me back to a scene in the movie Slumdog millionaire. The scene in the movie when Jamal loses Latika for the first time. And in turn leaves him with his older brother Salim on a train. It  might have been Salim's fault that he lost Latika right there and then. And of course the love that Jamal and Latika exhibits in this film is a prime example of what true love is but I want to explore the love between the two brothers.

In that very scene on top of the train you get the sense that Jamal and Salim have devolved a its us against the world attitude. It isn't anything new to the movie but I think it is really cemented in this scene. That no matter what happens to us, I got your back. I think this concept is very vital for true love to exist. Along with the lust and lovey dovey emotions, a form of what these two brothers had has to be evident. That mutually you have to be willing to do anything to keep up with each others well being. I hope that one day I will find the person I am willing to sacrifice everything to make them happy and have her feel the same way.

While I haven't found true love for myself yet, I don't think it its a concept to throw around lightly. There are three lethal words that should never be said if you don't mean them. "I Love You". Love springs Eternal. And when you say it this should also ring true...

"Loved is not a word. Because love is forever, and never can be used in past tense. So when i say i love you, you know where you stand."

Peace and Happiness to all :)

Humbly yours,

Brian J

"What's love worth?" (The first sonnet)...

Supp Playas???

My compassion for writing and story telling started at a very early age. Actually I was eight when I wrote my first story. In retrospect, my editor Tom would have nightmares trying to edit that first story of mines. My spelling was horrible, I used no punctuations or periods. But as you can see my writing has evolved by a large margin since then. But it was not until my senior year in high school I developed an appetite for structural poetry or to be more specific, sonnets. Take a look at the first one I ever wrote....

With love, is it always all or nothing?
to spend yourself for that one pretty person
always ready to give the sealing ring
to live life like she was the mighty sun


One sitting in place will of course say yes
always willing to run the endless race
that sweet love is felt with all of one's chest
never ever yielding to see that face


I say love is a flaming two edge sword
cutting down anyone who isn't careful
pretty and shining but can't be adored
its a thief that seems to be cheerful


love takes away leaving any man so broke
it will laugh and degrade like any sick joke.

Reading this, I have come to realize that when it comes to writing, may it be a song, a poem, or whatever it is, it is so easy to write about the negative aspects of love. Even if you don't have first hand experience of what it is that you're writing about. For instance, this poem has nothing to do with my life exactly. So what I want to do is for next month's spotlight post, a totally 180. I haven't experience what true love is yet but I want to try an express or understand what that might be like. So until then...

Peace and Happiness to all :)

Humbly yours,

Brian J

Hit the ground running...

What is good readers?

In the developmental  stages of this blog post I was unsure of what to title it. It could of easily became Spreading my wings part three. But what your are about to read is more of an extension of Spreading my wings part two. And since I kind of insulted the Lion King serious in that post I'm not going to name it Spreading my wings part one and a half, regardless, that would be silly. You the reader can dub it however you like, but with the way I am feeling now I think the title I have chosen supersedes what I intend to express.

I have approximately two months before I go, and it can't come any sooner. To get away from Naples and to finally begin chapter one of my life. What is actually funny about my journey through the military up to this point is that it really took awhile for things to finally align for me. And I just don't mean the big time gap in between high school and now. What some people do not know is that the Air Force was not my first choice. The Marines was, and then the Army, and now the Air Force . What truly is hysterical is that my plans with the Marines are completely different from the plans I have for myself now.  

With the Marines my plan was that I wanted to end up here, back in Naples. I was going to go through three hard months of basic training. Then twenty-nine days of military combat training, and finally learn my MOS (military occupational specialty) which varies with what job you select. The time that takes is based on what job you get. I wanted to do all that so I could come back to Naples, my "home". To become a full time student at possibly Ave Maria, and a part time Marine. I thought it was a good deal, and don't get me wrong it is. But it wasn't exactly what I wanted, I was just high off the hype the recruiter was feeding me.

Respect your elders. Don't just hear their words but also listen.

What truly changed my mind about my decision concerning the military was my sister Cindy and her husband Eric (both are actually in the Army). The council I received from them was tremendously helpful, I learned a lot from them. But one of the BIGGEST things I learned from them, what I had not accounted of until then, was the changes I would go through. And what Naples would be like for me once I got back. Everything in Naples would be the same except for me. Naples is my home, but I have done it all already. There isn't anything left for me to see or do here and it is understandable for me to want to stay. But the home that was created here was created by my parents. They are far away from where they originally called home. I think that rings true for everyone, and if it doesn't it will someday. That for me, I have to get out there and create my own home. That leaving the nest also means leaving this city behind, with that being said...

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

In the Air Force , while you are at tech school learning your MOS you get to create a dream list. A dream list is comprised of eight locations in where you want to serve. And if I can help it none of my choices will be stateside. I'm thinking, Japan, England, Italy, France, Germany, Hawaii, wherever that is far from here. I am a young man and I want to travel and why not now? 

So like the title of this post implies, I want to hit the ground running. And once I do, I don't see a single obstacle stopping me. And once I am on my way, I will not stop. Not even to look over my shoulder. Trust me there is nothing to see back there.

Change. I am truly flabbergasted at how quickly things can change.

Peace and Happiness to all. :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

My Faith...

Hey there readers!

On November 20th 2010 I posted "If God had a dick, you would suck it..." But like I wrote at the end of that post I didn't say really ALL that I wanted to say. I am hoping that this post will give you a little more insight on how I feel. Now remember this is MY opinion and please don't get offended, if you want to comment or question anything please be my guest.

In Mid-December of last year my friend Richy who also has a blog wrote a post called "F-A-I-T-H continued". In that post he sums up how he feels about religion. What you are about to read is actually what I commented in response to his blog...

I will start with the whole praising the Lord and giving him thanks for your life thing. The way you are suppose to look at Jesus (who is God, in my faith) is the same way you look at your parents but on a much grander scale. The way I look at it personally is that my parents don't owe me anything. I don't always agree with them or the decisions that they make. In my most vulnerable time in my life my parents looked after me. They clothed me, they feed me, and they provided a warm safe place for me to lay my head at night. That alone is enough, they didn't have to do those things. So just the same way you should give thanks to your parents you should give thanks to Jesus. Because where did your parents come from ultimately? They nurture us, they gave us life. It is the same with God "The father" but what makes it a bit different is that we are all his children. He sees all of us as the baby who needs to be nurture. Without our parents we would not be here today.

Then you hit a bit on the whole Universalism thing. The way it works in my faith is that yes even Hitler could have obtain salvation. All he had to do before he died was to come before Jesus and repent of all his sins and ask Jesus to be his personal savior. But trust me that little fucker is in Hell. But what people would ask how can that be? Our salvation is not based on how much good or bad we do in this world. We are all sinners by nature, so it doesn't matter as long as you accept Jesus and live as close as possible to how he lived. Another way to look at is that yes Hitler did a lot of bad things but a thing we don't realize or can't begin to comprehend is that God is all powerful. God can do far worse then any human being on this earth can do. He could end all life as we know it right now, he doesn't have anyone else to answer to. There isn't a single thing that happens to anyone good or bad that God doesn't intend to happen. There isn't anything that happens that God could not stop. Everything truly happens for a reason. We could never understand him and why the things of this world happen to people (partly our fault, Adam and Eve, Genesis) but God has the blueprint in his hands. He can see the BIG picture.

Then there is the whole Christians VS. Catholics. They are very similar and they did all branch from the same thing. But there are some huge differences that set them apart. It is true that all got their start with Judaism. The Jews where God's chosen people in the Old testament, which actually is their Bible. But what cause the first split is that when Jesus came along he became the messiah that the Jews where suppose to be looking for. But what ended up happening was they said no Jesus is not it, and the search continues for them. Then There is the Christians. I believe give or take Catholics fall under the same umbrella. But huge difference with them is that they worship the Virgin Mary as much as if not more then Jesus. The Jesus who is actually God in the flesh. To a Baptist (as you know I am) that is a big no no. Because yea she gave the virgin birth to Jesus but guess what? She wasn't a virgin long after that. Jesus had brothers, and there is only one Virgin birth in the history of mankind. The whole new testament is about Jesus first coming on earth, it is basically his biography. And as a baptist we do believe what all of the bible says.

"I don't believe that I should have to believe in God to go to a good place after I die. I know deep down I am a good person. I can account for my own actions."

Regardless of any actions you might make in your life. You alone can not save yourself. It doesn't not matter if your good deeds out way the bad. The only way to get to heaven is through Jesus.

Peace and Happiness to all :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

Spreading my wings part two...

What's good readers?

So finally we are back at the next installment that I am doing on the Air Force . My one true goal I hope to accomplish with this post is do the first post a little justice. It has been my experience that originals are always far better then any remake or sequel could ever be. Let's face it, Lion King 2 is nobody's favorite movie.

5/3/2011

That is my official date.

That is when I say good bye to Naples once and for all.In my November 10th 2010 post titled "Womp, womp, womp... :/) I wrote... " If I died today, not even 10% of what I would like to do for myself would be accomplished. Epic fail. Epic fail in it's highest regard. But I've got plenty of time right? Instant gratification can be a real bitch ey? But that's what our world is coming to nowadays. How fast can I get it? If I can get it here, I'll get it here. But if I can get it there, then I'll go over there. Patience is key. But it's hard when you feel like your running out of time. All Time Low said it the best. "I want to be weightless, and that be should enough." But it won't be...

Well not anymore, I'm aiming for straight fire. I think I have been patiently waiting for too long. But for what? My life will begin, my wings will spread, and I will take flight. I'm not exactly sure about my destination but it will be far, far away from shitty old Naples. I will become someone or something but I just haven't figured it out yet."

I know in my first post on this subject I mentioned that I was afraid. Not about what could happen to me, but what kind of person I would become. That is not the case anymore. Over the last couple of months I have come to realize this. For me to achieve all the things that I want to do, to get that straight fire, I have to change.  There is always room for improvement. Not everyone is going to like it, but it really is what is best for me. I'm no Peter Pan. The necessary changes will be made, I have to grow up to be Brian John Cummings. Changes are a BIG part of life, every obstacle you face you got to take in strive. Cause one day you'll look up and realize, you've been left behind. 

 And I still haven't figured it out yet, but I am confident that all the pieces are there and I just need to put them together. In the spring of 2009, The King of Pop, Micheal Jackson was rehearsing to put on his final concert performance. We all know that he didn't quite get there. But the title of this concert was "This is it." Those three simple words sum it up for me. This is it. It isn't glorified as anything Micheal Jackson could of done, but that is where I am now. I am on the threshold and I can't wait to get in.

My life will begin, my wings will spread, and I will take flight. 

I hope you, my faithful reader, gained something by reading my blog. I just wanted to note since I am not blogging as I usually am, I will make it a habit to post once a month. As always your comments are greatly appreciated so please feel free to comment on anything you read. If there is a topic you want to hear my opinion on let me know and I will try my best to post on it. :)

Peace and Happiness to all. :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

January, Anti-Flagging Awareness Month...

Happy New Year!!!

This is the first post of the year and I want to jump straight into it. Just to be clear on what "flagging" is before I continue I will define it for you. Flagging- Is the act of bailing on set plans. And as the title of this post implies January is the unofficial month for raising awareness against Flagging.

Don't be a flagger.

Especially if its a date. There isn't anything more annoying then the feeling that comes when you get flagged on. You don't wanna be that girl. I know that girl and she's stale. If you don't plan to hangout with someone in the first place then just don't set it up. I just don't like to have my time wasted, if I say I'm going to do something I am going to do it. I always try and keep my word.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you may have done something to upset someone but you are not exactly sure? And then when you try and find out what is wrong the person ignores you so things stay at a stand still. It is very vexing. If I express interest in any individual, then it$ is genuine. If I say I want to hangout, it is real. And if I say that I like you, then it is legit. I'm pretty sure I have stated this before. I do not play games. First of all because it wastes a lot of time. Furthermore because it very easy to mix signals and get the wrong results. I will also openly admit because I am not very good at it. I rather be honest with someone then play hide and seek. The very truth of the matter is, if you give me a pop quiz and I don't know the curriculum, I will fail.  

So please to anyone who is reading this. Let everyone else know that January is anti-flagging awareness month. Tell your mom, tell your dad, and all your friends. If you make a plan, then please follow through. It isn't pleasant to to be on a receiving end of a flag. So you shouldn't do it either.

Peace and Happiness to all :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

Wearing your heart on your sleeve is dangerous...

Back at it again :) what's good world?

Popeye the sailor man is a cartoon character famous for the large tumors in his forearms and eating spinach. He is also very famous for saying "I yam what I yam". Or can be translated into I am who I am.  Who am I exactly? The answer to that question is of course very complex. But I will take a stab at it...

I am probably the most immature mature person you will ever met. When we first meet, you might think wow this kid is a serious goofball. A lot of my acquaintances don't take me serious at all but what you first see is only one complex layer to my very BIG personality. Once you really get to know me you will be surprise that the raw and uncut Brian is a very serious person. You will also find that I rarely have any ulterior motives. I try to pride myself on being honest and with me you will know where you stand. I am as real as it gets, with that being said...

Never compromise.

From time to time I find myself in situations with girls where I think to myself if I just acted a certain way they would like me a lot better. But I can't do it, even if I tried to. I am not a chameleon. Is it better to be real or flatter? Honesty I would think the straight forward approach I like to take is better but it is not. I just don't like to play games. But it has been my experience that girls like the games, they rather the uncertainty a wild card guy might present. They like projects. A guy they feel that they might be the one girl that changes their life. But nobody changes unless they really want to.

So why is it that wearing your heart on your sleeve is dangerous? That is actually very easy to answer. There is simply a lot of people who just don't care. They don't care whether or not they accidentally bump into it. They don't care if they crush it. They don't care if your feelings get hurt. A lot of times they don't even recognize what they are doing but at the same time it does not make it right. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is like when a dog let's someone rub their stomach. The stomach is the most vulnerable part of a dog's body, but unlike dogs my stomach isn't always rubbed the right way.


"I yam what I yam"

Peace and happiness to all :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

My tight circle...

What's good readers?

For the faithful readers who have actually been checking in on a regular basis I am sorry for such a long gap in between blog posts. Things just got really busy with the Thanksgiving holiday and a lot of other things...

Trust me when I say that A LOT has happened over the last week, there are so many things that have happened since I last wrote a blog. I have a million different things that I can write about but I think I will start with one of the most important things. Blood is thicker than water, but you could never survive without water. I run a very tight circle when it comes to my friends. Actually I like to think of us as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...

In most situations, I am the voice of reason. I also try to be the level headed one of our group. Even though the advice I give isn't always taken, it is always given. The guide of the group. Not to toot my own horn, but out of all of us I seem to know what the best thing to do is. I am the leader... I would be Leonardo. But enough about me, this post is about my brothers.

My first brother would be the most compulsive one of the group, he tends to do the really stupid things that usually get us into the most trouble. About 95% of the bad ideas we find ourselves carrying out are his. Looking at our group from the outside in you would think, and actually a lot of people ask, "Why are you still friends with him?" Sometimes I don't know, but he is my brother. And I know he will stand by my side as will I stand by his. I don't always agree with the things he does. But if I was heads on a coin, he would be tails, the most opposing force to Leonardo.  There are a lot of situations where I try to not let my emotions get the best of me but I can count on this brother to take it upon himself to act on the feelings which I sometimes can't express. My brother Raphael.

Then there's the driver of the party wagon, the life of the party in most cases. The guy that when you see him, you know he is having a good time. Even though he might appear to be an airhead at times, there is more to him than that. He might not always be paying attention to what is going on but I know he will always have my back. My oldest and one of my most reliable friends. As Leonardo I do not ask for much from my brothers but I know that if I needed anything at all, this brother would try his best to help out. He is as loyal to me as the days are long, I can always count on him to stand on my side. There isn't anything he wouldn't do for me and there isn't anything I could think of that I wouldn't do for him. So cowabunga to my brother Michelangelo.

So last but most certainly not least is my reserved and soft spoken brother, Mr. Nice guy. There shouldn't be a single person on this planet who would not be able to get along with him. I definitely would consider him the light side, and me the dark side, of the exact same brain. We analyze things in the same way and there isn't a single thing that we can't talk about and have a really good laugh. He really does know how to make light of any situation. One of the best friends a guy can truly have. He may be forgetful at times but when you need him to come through for you, then he has got your back por vida. If I met any of my three brothers for the first time today, this brother would be the easiest one to click with. The brother that Leonardo looks to clear his head in a tough situation, to put a smile on his face no matter what he's going through. Meet my brother Donatello.

So there you have it, my tight circle, the brothers that I personally know as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This last week has brought a lot of trials and tribulation and I am so very grateful to call those three my brothers. Through thick and thin... And whatever life might throw at us.

Peace and happiness to all :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

edited by Raphael

If God had a dick, you would suck it...

"Hey Richy, what is your philosophy on religion?"

*Richy gestures to Tom*


"Well I'm not an agnostic bitch, If God showed Tom his dick I bet he would believe... I bet he would suck it too."

Whenever I think about all the religious affiliation that a person can belong to that conversation above always pops into my head. One because it's hilarious, and two because it defiantly has an element of truth to it. Before I continue with the very gray area that this subjects presents, I just want to say, don't judge my friend Richy too hard for what he said. He was drunk when we had this conversation and doesn't really remember saying it. Honestly, Richy is not that insensitive to others feelings, unless he is drunk.

So what religion would I fall under? That is a very easy question for me to answer. I believe what the Bible says. Period. Now I'm going to try and keep this as simple as possible, because to break it down would be too complicated.

When it comes to faith, there are a million different questions that can be really difficult to answer sometimes. I'm not Jesus so defending him is a challenge, after all, I am merely a follower. I mean shit, there are questions that I myself don't know the answer to. One of my biggest concerns is that there hasn't been one single person on Earth that has died and come back to say "Well yup the Bible is right, believe what it says." It would be a hell of a lot easier if they did. Who is the Messiah? Jesus? Buddha? Mohammad? Which one is the right religion to believe in?  No individual has any absolute proof as to which one is correct. It's simply about what they believe. So what puts all my anxiety to rest?

I walk by faith, not by sight.

This post isn't about converting the non believers or to prove that I'm right and you're wrong. This is America after all, and you're allowed to believe whatever it is that you want. This is simply me stating what it is that I believe, and trying to do it in the easiest  way possible without offending anyone. Actually, I think that I am one of the most accepting people that you could ever met. I have a very high tolerance level. I have many friends who drink and smoke but I do not take part in either one, ever. But I'm not going to judge anyone for the things that they like to do. I am not God and I won't pretend to be. It's just the way I think, I won't take a hit of your cigarette or a sip of your beer. And in return, I won't try to force you to believe what I believe. You do you, and I'll do me.

This post really didn't exactly accomplish what I wanted it to. I didn't get to express what I wanted to for you tonight. I wanted to break down a little of what it is that I believe. But I guess I will save that for a later post. I hope you gained something from this or at least had a little fun reading it. :)


Peace and happiness to all :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

edited by Thomas Manton

Spreading my wings part one...

Supp playas??

This is part one in a... I actually don't know how many parts this is going to end up being but I thought if I was going to do a series, it should be about something really important to me. Due in large part to financial woes, I am currently not attending college. But as an alternative I have decided to join the Air Force.

In all my 19 years of living on this earth, I have come to the conclusion that this is indefinitely true; life does NOT care about your plans. When you're up to bat, there is no way to know what life will pitch you next. It could be anything from a fast ball, curve ball, change up, or even a slider. There isn't any way to anticipate what will happen next. One of my favorite movies of all time is Forrest Gump. If there's one thing you should take away from that movie it's that his Momma was right all along. "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get."

If a military recruiter asked me two or three years ago if I was interested in signing up for the armed services. I would have laughed. Me? In the army? Or the navy? Or any service for that matter. Graduating from high school was so far from my mind at that time but things change. What I failed to understand then was that after high school, the training wheels come off, things are not as easy as they once were. I would love to go to college and start getting my life together. But its not that simple. And like I said before, life doesn't care about the plans I have. There are a lot of different avenues I could go down. But at this juncture in my life, I think that the Air Force is the best thing I can choose for myself.

When I tell people I'm going to join the Air Force they usually give me the uh oh look. Come on people, relax. I'm not going to jail and I'm not dying. While there is the possibility of me having to go to war, that doesn't mean that it will happen. Any job I can get as a civilian I can also get in the Air Force. And even though at this current point I don't know what I will be doing while serving, trust me, I will be aiming for anything other then the battlefield.

I'm afraid.

Not so much about going to war because I'm pretty confident that it won't happen. Not even the physical trials and tribulations of basic training. I'm more concerned with who will Brian Cummings be when it is all said and done? Now I know that something has to give. There's no way I will be exactly the same, that's a given. But how much will I lose? How will my loved ones react to who I have become. I don't want to compromise who I truly am, and I believe I won't for the most part. I want to promise that I will be who you know me to be. But people change, circumstances change, nothing will ever always be the same. So in the end it would be an empty promise.

So I think that pretty much sums up part one of this series so please stay tuned for the next installment. The next post won't necessarily be about this topic but I hope you read it anyways. And I hope my blog gives you some food for thought. Or at least keeps you entertained. :)

Peace and happiness to all :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

edited by Thomas Manton

Let me formally introduce myself...

Good evening world,

My name is Thomas J, and I am the Chief Editor here at TBBYEG. For those of you who don't know, I am also Brian's close friend. Our friendship has been a long one, and like most, it's had it's ups and downs. We have been through a lot together over the past six years, from talking bullshit and getting up to no good in the early hours of the morning, to helping each other through personal shit we couldn't deal with by ourselves. Now Brian will probably read this and ask, "When have we ever helped each other? All we do is talk shit." but I think that on some level, we have.

I agree with him in the sense that the majority of what we do is talk shit. But there are times when our conversations go beyond the usual nonsense. Mainly when we've had enough of dissing one another or after an interesting night, we'll talk for two or three hours about what's actually happening in our lives. For me, Brian has been my "Moral compass" for the past three years. He always seems to know what the right thing to do is. Now I'm not saying I listen to him every time, in fact, I probably only take his advice every once in a while. I realize now that this was a mistake, since not taking his advice has led to pointless drama, people getting hurt, and bridges being burnt.

My behavior and attitude have always gotten me into trouble, with my parents, teachers, and even friends. Only the ones who the know the real me seem to stick around, and I understand when others flee. I may be rude, infuriating, and just a downright asshole at times, but that's not who I really am. That's just the Thomas Manton I want people to see. Why? I honestly couldn't tell you. Maybe it's just a false bravado, maybe it's because I tried to be the "good guy" once, and all I did was get burnt. Who knows, maybe I really am an asshole and I'm making this all up. You'd have to ask Brian. He seems to be the ONLY person who sees through my bullshit no matter what.

There you have it, an introduction to me, Thomas J. Brian's best friend, Chief Editor and Creative Genius. On a final note, I would like to encourage everyone who reads this to stop with the mindless crap they post online sometimes. Because I'm getting sick of reading it. I hope you enjoyed my little guest post. Maybe I'll be back next week with some more boring shit you can waste your time reading. Or maybe I'll make my own blog? Nah, FUCK THAT. That shit's so lame. The only reason I'm editing Brian's blog is because it's straight fire, and we are going straight to the top. Watch out Perez Hilton, we're going to be right on your ass, but hey, you'd probably like that wouldn't you? Anyways, I'm out. Keep reading our bullshit, it only gets better.

Dueces,

TJ

edited by Nobody Motherfucka

"It's Funny," a sonnet by Brian J...

Hey there!

There are a million different things that I could talk about tonight... but eh. I'm not really feeling it. The creative spark in me is not leading to any subject in particular. So I'll just give it a break tonight. But I do want to leave you with something to read. I always thought it would be cool to write a sonnet so I did. On May 12th 2010. I will share it with you tonight. 

This poem isn't about anything going on in my life at moment, it was born out of a situation that happened a while ago. But the great thing about good poetry is that after a writer is done with it, the poem will take on a life of it's own. I read this poem now, and I laugh because I think I was just way too serious for everything that actually happened. So I hope you enjoy it...

This poem is not funny or easily bought
Avert your eyes if it does not matter.
I will only inquire one simple thought
Better to be real or just to flatter.

What is it that I don't have or lack of?
You're the carbon copy paper on a nightstand.
Patience and effort, a courtroom, no judge

The new accessory on a man's hand.

Forget me, forget you, and screw it all
The fog has set, your eyes are so blurry.
Complex, difficult, not so easy to solve
Three pick up lines and you're in a hurry.

First I am your friend, always just a friend
Lover? No, hell no, never ever in the end.

Peace and Happiness to all :)

Humbly yours,

Brian J

edited by Thomas Manton

Shit MY dad says...

Hello faithful readers!

Just to clear the air this post has nothing to do with the TV show that has the same title as tonight's blog post. They are totally unrelated. I haven't actually ever seen the show nor have I read the book or the original blog. This post is honestly about some shit my dad said to me.

What's really been odd to me about this past week is that because it was so busy between work and hanging out with friends, I didn't see my dad at all until Sunday. Which is unheard of in our household. And if you know my dad then you know he can talk. I mean really talk. To him it must be some sort of art form. Once he has got a hold of you there is no turning back. If the opposing party in the senate is about to pass a bill and you need some one to filibuster. Call my daddy, he's got your back.

So when my dad gets started on one of his lectures I do what anyone would do. I zone out, almost completely. I start thinking about important things. Like what am I going to eat or what time the game starts. And he will defiantly talk about something he has said to you before. But what is interesting with our last encounter is that I actually got something from it...

"Waste not, need not. What you waste today you will need tomorrow."

We were on the subject of spending your money wisely and that quote says a lot to me, because for one, I do waste a lot, and two, it does bite you in the end. Have you ever passed on eating that extra fry, to only realize later when your hungry you want it now? Another thing he hit on was that it is a lot easier to spend your money than it is to save. He also tied it all into being prepared. Don't wait until your hungry to cook, cook so when you are hungry you can eat. It's the same way you won't wait til the rent is due to get a job. When rent is due, it is due. If you don't have the money then your ass is out on the streets.

"Money loves company."

Money does not belong in a poor man's pocket, it belongs in the bank. Money wants to be with all the other money. You ever notice that when you have cash it tends to disappear a lot faster than when it is in the bank? I honestly don't even understand where all my money goes sometimes. It's like itching powder in your pockets, it will claw and tear until it finds a way out.

So I hope you liked the little bit of advice my dad shared with me that I have passed on to you. If you think this was on the lengthy side trust me this was only 10% of what I got from my father. And it's a nice change of pace from what I've been currently writing about. So please stay tuned, I will tackle even bigger issues tomorrow! (Maybe)

Peace and happiness to all :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

edited by Thomas Manton

I'm not about that whatever...

Helllooooo, how goes it?

While one night stands are cool and everything, and hooking up with chicks at the club is a lot of fun, I came to the conclusion that I myself am not about that whatever. What does that mean exactly?

I have gotten into situations where I was just fooling it, you know, just messing around. Not really taking things seriously with the ladies. But I don't think that's the case for me anymore. Overall, I don't like doing things just to do them.  I like to say what I mean, and mean what I say.

There are a lot of gray areas in life and a lot of questions that don't always have a right answer.  A lot of situations where the right answer isn't always clear. I hate that about life. The right choice, or the wrong choice?  It drives me crazy that things aren't always black and white. Like gay marriage, abortions, the mosque being built at Ground Zero, a whole bunch of shit. But those are not the points I want to hit on tonight, I'll save those subjects for a different post.

One point that I hope to drive home for you tonight is this. That when I am interested in someone, that it is more than just sex. It's more than just whatever I can get out of you in a single night. I am obviously not a perfect person. Lines may get crossed and it might end up being just a one night thing.  And if it does, then I am sorry. But if that is what you wanted, then I hope you enjoyed the ride. So with that being said...

I liked you before, and I still like you now. 

A lot has happened in a few short weeks. Maybe we didn't start off on the right foot, and I may still have doubts but even though this goes against my better judgment, I simply don't care.

I might not understand what goes on inside of your head yet, 
and I may not be able to see the world through your eyes, 
but half hazel, half green doesn't sound that bad, 
so I will take a leap of faith, and I'll try.

I know that if I don't give it a chance, I'll regret giving up in the end. Who likes a quitter anyways?

Peace and happiness to all :)

Humbly yours,

Brian J

edited by Thomas Manton

A word from the editor...

Due to lame default settings on Blogger.com, our humble host, you were required to either log in to Google or create an account to post a comment. As of right now, those restrictions have been removed and anyone can comment to their hearts content. Please feel free to do so, we would love to hear some feedback from our "faithful readers."

Dueces,

TJ

Here we go again...

"...I kinda want to be more than friends"

Man I really like that song, I think Neon Trees did a pretty good job with that one. And it kind of ties into what I was thinking of today.

I think sometimes in high school and in life in general things gets blown out of proportion, sometimes things end up going to places you didn't really plan on them going. Of course when I look back at it now, I can kind of laugh at it. I myself was not big on drama in high school, I rarely got myself in sticky situations but if you asked me... there was one situation that really did stick out in my mind. Now I'm not going to bore you with all the details, and I don't want to open up old wounds. But it is safe to say that all parties involved are over it and we actually are cool with each other now. But this is what I actually want to talk about... and don't get me wrong this isn't based on any changes I have seen with anyone, just merely a what if situation.

What if you really cared about a person? I mean legitimately liked the person in question and let's just say for whatever reason, things didn't work out. And I mean really didn't work out, that things got sour and then continue to go downhill. And ended in the worse possible fashion, hence the high school "blowing out of proportion" paragraph. What if now that years have gone by and apologies have been made, that person has come to the conclusion that they might have made a mistake. They now realize that you were the best person they could have had but they didn't just go for it because their mind was clouded at the time. And don't get me wrong that isn't the situation I am in now. Just something I was thinking about...

If that is the case, what do you do in that situation? Does this count as a second time around? I mean I am all for second chances but don't you think that ship set sail a long time ago? I don't know, it is a very weird situation to say the least. It should be a no brainer, but I don't think things in life are ever that simple.

Let's say a dog owner prepared tacos for himself one night. Everyone who has ever owned a dog in the history of mankind knows that dogs would rather eat what we eat, and not the food we give them. So if those tacos were left unattended then the dog will of course try to eat them. The owner of the dog would then punish the dog. So when tacos are made the next time, even though the dog wants to eat them and will try it's best to eat one, the situation is a little bit different because of what happened before. Of course the dog wants the tacos but because it was punished the first time, it will become more reluctant to try again.

"What are you waitin' for? What are you waitin' for? Say goodbye to my heart tonight"

Peace and happiness to all :)


Humbly yours,

Brian J

edited by Thomas Manton